Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
