Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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