there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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