OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
