why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
