So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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