school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
