She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
