after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
