so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
