i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I am naked and annoyed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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