when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
