after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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