I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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