No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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