Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
