I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
