Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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