All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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