If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We need to rekindle our bromance
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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