...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Green mimosas i think yes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
