what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
