Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
wow bdsm is so cute
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
