Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's never too late to be topless.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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