We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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