not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
