He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He literally asked permission to hit on me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
