The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
