It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
