I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize