I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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