Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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