I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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