Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize