Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
