Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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