How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
