why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
