I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
