Umm I'm too high to move.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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