Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
