Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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