She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize