At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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