I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
