I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
