so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
