it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
