i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
