FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
