Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
