dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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