He uses pillows to masturbate.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
