I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize