He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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