Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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