Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize