Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
