I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
