I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
