I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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