In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cannot find my penis.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
