We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
