Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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