He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
