When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
