I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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