Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize