I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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