garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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