PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
