But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize