Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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