He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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