I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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