I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
