Sponge bath it is.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
