please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
