I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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